New Jersey family law: the collaborative divorce process

May 09, 2013

Some people facing divorce do not want The War of the Roses, but rather a more respectful, reasonable approach. A couple may not be angry or confrontational despite the impending end of their marriage, or even if negative feelings are there, they may feel they can work through things and come to agreement.

Another fear can be that the traditional divorce process is going to eat up too many of a family's assets through legal fees, not leaving enough to set up two separate households.

Collaborative divorce

One approach to divorce in New Jersey and in many other states is so-called "collaborative" divorce. Originally started in Minnesota, the collaborative divorce process differs significantly from the norm.

First, the whole framework begins with an agreement that sets out mutual goals signed by the parties, including a pledge that they will treat one another with respect, stay out of court (except for approval of their settlement), and be truthful and forthcoming with relevant financial and personal information. In a traditional process, civility can go out the window fairly quickly and sometimes the parties fight over getting documents and evidence from each other.

Second, a major difference is the role of the family law attorneys who are specially trained in the process. The goal of the parties is to negotiate a creative and informed divorce settlement agreement and this is done through a series of four-way meetings with each party and their respective lawyers sitting around the table in discussion. In a traditional divorce negotiation, the attorneys would consult with their clients, and then with each other at each step of the negotiation. It would be improper for one of the lawyers to talk directly to the other spouse.

In addition, the spouses agree in collaborative divorce that if the collaborative negotiation breaks down, they will each have to hire a new lawyer and start over in the traditional process. This prospect of having to start over from scratch with a new legal professional is incentive for the parties and attorneys alike to work hard to get to collaborative agreement.

The role of the neutral expert

Another key aspect of collaborative divorce is the use of neutral professionals to consult with the couple on important matters. For example, they may hire a financial professional to help them set budgets and analyze tax implications, or a parenting expert to assess what arrangement might be best for their children. Other experts can include appraisers, mental health professionals, divorce coaches to help them negotiate and any other specialist they need help from.

Not always best

Collaborative law is not right for every couple, however. For example, one spouse may be domineering or verbally abusive and the other may not feel it possible to negotiate with civility. Any marriage with a history of domestic abuse would not be a good prospect for respectful deliberation. If one spouse has a history of dishonesty, it probably doesn't make sense that he or she is going to start being forthcoming in the collaborative process. Finally, if there is doubt that the couple won't be able to keep negotiations moving, delays and long negotiations while paying both lawyers, as well as paying neutral professionals for multiple sessions, can end up being as expensive as litigation would have been.

Consult with a New Jersey divorce lawyer trained in the collaborative process to consider whether collaborative divorce might be a good choice for you and your soon-to-be ex to make.

Article provided by Law Offices of Douglas I. Krompier MBA LLC
Visit us at www.krompierlaw.com/