Divorce Later in Life: The "Gray Divorce"

December 23, 2010

The recent divorce of Al and Tipper Gore seems to be part of a growing trend of couples getting divorced after decades of marriage. So-called "gray divorces" -- adults separating in their senior years -- are becoming more commonplace.

According to Census Bureau data, about a quarter of couples who recently divorced were married over 20 years. The trend seemed to begin about 10 years ago and is continuing to grow. For couples who said their "I Dos" between 1955 and 1984, there has been a 20 percent drop in those marriages reaching their 20th anniversary. This has occurred despite an overall decline in divorces in recent years.

Most people tend to think couples who have been together for decades have everything figured out and will be life-long partners. So what causes these long-term unions to fall apart? There are a variety of factors that may contribute to partners choosing to separate after spending a good portion of their lives together.

Factors Contributing to the Rise in Later Life Divorce
- Longer life expectancies
- Growing acceptance of divorce in society
- Women being more financially independent
- Parents being less concerned about the impact of divorce on older children

Those, like the Gores, who married in the 1970s, are part of the generation that has had the most divorces in American history. This generation is the one that provided the famous statistic of one in two marriages ending in divorce. Couples marrying in the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s have generally been increasingly less likely to divorce, at least for now.

Cultural Shifts in Relationships

Several societal changes may have contributed to the baby boomer generation experiencing a greater number of divorces. Boomers who wed expecting marriages like their parents may have been surprised by the impact of cultural changes.

Gender roles shifted significantly, and women became less dependent on men for financial support. According to a 2004 survey by AARP, women now initiate two-thirds of divorces. Divorce also became increasingly accepted in society, and more states moved to make divorce easier by enacting no-fault divorce laws.

Boomers now entering retirement are healthier than any previous generation and expect to have decades of good years ahead of them. There is a growing desire for fulfillment throughout life, and many do not want to waste time in dispassionate marriages. Psychotherapist Helen Kornblum, herself almost 70 when she divorced, tells her clients, "There is no valor in staying in a long bad marriage."

Facing divorce after many years of marriage can feel overwhelming. If you are considering divorce after a long-term marriage you should meet with an experienced family law attorney. A lawyer can explain your legal rights and options and advocate on your behalf.

Article provided by Colwell, Colwell & Petroccione
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