When consent meets reality: How young men navigate intimacy

(Press-News.org) A new study suggests that young men overwhelmingly support affirmative sexual consent in principle—yet often find its verbal implementation difficult in practice.

The research, led by scholars at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and Melbourne University’s Department of General Practice and Primary Care, explores how young heterosexual men interpret and navigate consent during real-world sexual encounters. The findings were published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.

In recent years, laws and school programs across many countries have emphasized affirmative or enthusiastic consent, requiring an explicit and ongoing agreement before sexual activity progresses. While these models have established a strong normative standard, sexual encounters themselves often unfold in more fluid and ambiguous ways.

“Because sexual activity without consent is sexual violence, understanding how young men interpret and enact consent remains crucial for reducing sexual harm,” said senior author Jessie Ford, PhD, assistant professor of Sociomedical Sciences. “We found that young men want to get consent right but still struggle with it in real-world interactions. They were clear that sex must be consensual, but the frameworks currently available to them are both impractical and incomplete.”

First author Jossy Forest of the University of Melbourne added: “The boundaries between unwanted but consensual sex and non-consensual sex are often unclear, creating what has been described as a ‘grey area’ between consent and non-consent. Our study underscores a critical disconnect between the language of consent taught in schools and the ways young men actually navigate sexual encounters.”

How the Study Was Conducted

Researchers recruited 35 men aged 18 to 32 through advertisements at the University of Melbourne. All participants had prior sexual experience; 31 identified as heterosexual. Each completed an in-depth interview, and 10 also completed a survey.

“Multi-Factor Authentication”

Participants described a process the researchers termed multi-factor authentication: piecing together an accumulation of cues—sensory signals, trust, location, timing, and other contextual factors—to infer whether consent was present. Verbal “checking-in” was sometimes used, particularly when other signals were unclear. However, many described formal verbal consent as overly procedural—a “box-ticking” exercise that did not necessarily reflect genuine desire.

Rather than relying primarily on explicit verbal requests, “the young men appear to turn to a decision-making system that is less rigid and intellectual and more embodied and intuitive,” says Forrest.

Alcohol and Seductive Clothing

Importantly, participants did not interpret alcohol use or revealing clothing as signals of consent. On the contrary, intoxication often problematized consent and made them less confident that consent was present. The act of undressing during a mutually escalating encounter was viewed as more meaningful than attire itself.

Mutuality and Trust

Almost all participants reported seeking reassurance after sexual encounters that the experience had been consensual and mutually desired. As Ford explains, “Young men seem to know that sex has to be consensual. However, they seem to want to have sex that is more than just consensual—sex that is enjoyable, mutually desired, non-judgmental, and that connects them with their partner.”

Limitations and Future Directions

The authors caution that the findings are not generalizable beyond this relatively small sample. Interviews were conducted by a female researcher, which may have influenced responses, and the data rely on self-reported accounts. Additionally, most participants described experiences within ongoing relationships, limiting insight into first-time encounters or casual hookups.

The researchers say future research should seek to capture multiple perspectives, diverse contexts, and longitudinal patterns to better understand how consent is negotiated across different types of sexual encounters.

Background on Sexual Violence

Globally, sexual violence remains a major public health concern. The World Health Organization estimates that at least one in three women worldwide experiences physical or sexual violence in her lifetime. Rates among men are more difficult to estimate due to underreporting, but studies suggest that between one in sixteen and one in six boys or men experience sexual abuse or victimization.

Background on the Researchers

Jessie Ford is a sociologist whose research explores how expectations and inequalities around gender and sexuality shape sexual health, violence, and pleasure. She is a leading proponent of sex-positive epidemiology that considers and incorporates pleasure, satisfaction, and well-being alongside familiar outcomes such as sexually transmitted infections. To this end, she has introduced a set of indicators to assess broad progress in sexual health outcomes with a positive, holistic focus on sexual health. Last year, she participated in the inaugural World Sexual Health Assembly. Recently, she published research on third-gender muxe individuals in southern Mexico.

Jossy is a PhD Candidate at the University of Melbourne with a background in human development, conflict resolution, mindfulness, and compassion-based practices.

The current research study was supported by an Australian Government Research Training Program scholarship. The authors declare no potential conflict of interest.

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