Delivering the News: How to Tell the Kids You Are Getting a Divorce

Choosing to get a divorce can be a difficult decision, especially if you and your spouse have children.

2011-04-24

April 24, 2011 (Press-News.org) Delivering the News: How to Tell the Kids You Are Getting a Divorce

Choosing to get a divorce can be a difficult decision, especially if you and your spouse have children. However, communicating the facts of your decision and simply explaining how the children's lives will change -- and how they will stay the same -- can make the transition a better experience for them.

To deliver the divorce news in an understandable and kid-friendly way, Lynn Louise Wonders, a licensed professional counselor who works with children and families going through divorce, offers the following tips:
-Wait Until Living Arrangements Are Made -- tell the kids you are getting divorced only when you and your spouse have determined who will be living where and what the children's living arrangements will be.

-Make the Details Clear -- make a plan with incremental changes that allow the children to stay in their normal routines as much as possible. In California, parents may create their own visitation plan detailing how they will share time with their children as long as it is approved by a judge. If parents cannot agree on visitation or parenting time, a judge will craft a visitation plan according to the "best interest of the child," considering the children's health, safety and well-being.

-Take Care of Your Emotional Needs First -- while divorce is often sad, a parent who is overly-emotional when telling the kids may alarm the children or impart the mistaken notion that the divorce is the end of the world.

-Focus on the Facts -- explain how the family is going to change in concrete terms. Tell the kids that Mom and Dad will live in two different homes but still spend time with them. Reassure them that many things will remain the same, such as their schools, friends and support from their parents.

-Consider Support Groups and Professional Help-- let the children's teachers know about the divorce and seek age-appropriate support groups in the community.

If you are considering divorce or have questions about child custody or visitation, contact an experienced family law attorney in your area.

Article provided by Anthony C Starks Law Office
Visit us at www.anthonystarkslaw.com

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Delivering the News: How to Tell the Kids You Are Getting a Divorce

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