Mom + Mom + Kids = Praise
This is an exclusive story from LetsHaveAKid.com about a couple of sharents who believe the website offers great potential for other prospective sharents. This story shows that the journey toward sharenthood isn't always easy.
NEW YORK, NY, January 11, 2011
LET'S HAVE A KID has been in the public domain for a number of months now, but the word is really finally starting to catch on. In addition to numerous new members and a growing twitter following, we've gotten ringing endorsements. Here's one from a couple of sharents who believe LetsHaveAKid.com offers great potential for other prospective sharents. This story shows that the journey toward sharenthood isn't always easy, but a network of support and resources can help make it easier:Dear Let's Have A Kid:
You're doing such a great thing with this site. My partner and I recently went through the process of starting our own family. Resources, support and options are so important!
When my partner Angela and I met there was an instant connection. She was the one. In September 2008 we were "civil unioned" and in March of 2009 our journey to parenthood began.
We always knew that we wanted to have children and Angela wanted to carry more than anything. I didn't, so thankfully that wasn't an issue. We began the whole process with enthusiasm and joy. We were starting the family we'd always wanted! But as with many people, the process proved difficult.
So many doctor appointments, ovulation predictors and pregnancy tests. We worked with our gynecologist to artificially inseminate. Artificial insemination is not covered by insurance until after 6 failed attempts. And sadly we went through 6 failed attempts. Expensive. In addition to the steep emotional cost of being unable to get pregnant, the sperm was $775 per insemination attempt, which is done two days in a row, making it $1550 per round. We purchased sperm from the California Cryobank. While there are many options, we chose a sperm donor that is "not open." That means he is not willing to be contacted. We actually don't even know what he looks like.
After seven difficult months, we were not able to get pregnant through artificial insemination. We then met with a fertility doctor. We went through the necessary testing and Angela began getting monitored weekly. Then it was time for the fertility drugs. We did injections for a week, and after a blood test and ultrasound, we were ready for insemination.
Sadly, this wasn't like waving a magic wand either—and will surely take a toll on even the strongest relationships. Having to see the disappointment on Angela's face each month was heartbreaking. Certainly we were both disappointed time after time. But the worst for me was Angela uttering each month that she felt she'd let me down.
Angela was finally inseminated for the last time on December 2nd and 3rd of 2009. On December 17th we found out she was pregnant—with possible multiples! A week later twins were confirmed. A week after that, triplets. It was a bittersweet day. We heard all of our babies' heartbeats and fell in love right away, but we were so nervous to have three on the way. We made it through, and on July 15, 2010 our babies were born.
Angela and I are both on the birth certificates. I am legally the "other parents" in the state of New Jersey only. I can and probably will adopt them legally, but it's a few thousand dollars to do so. I do not feel that it's necessary other than going out of the state or country. These kids may not have come out of me, but I sure do love them like they did.
When the time comes to tell our children how they were conceived we are going to tell them the stork dropped them off. Just kidding! We will explain that they have two mommies who love each of very much and wanted to have a family, but needed some help from a doctor to do so. The truth is, they're living in a same sex home, so it will be a long road of explanations I suppose. But we are more than prepared when the time is right.
We do not have any sperm in the bank at this point and we have no plans for any more children. We could not ask for more than our three beautiful babies. Taking care of triplets is hard, but we also never had to take care of just one, so we didn't know what to expect. They are individuals and are all on different schedules, but it works out. It takes patience, but one look at those little faces and you'll give them the world—no matter what hour of the day or how exhausted you are.
So many of my friends as me, "What's it like to be a mom?" It's indescribable! It's overwhelmingly. It's rewarding! It's by far the greatest and most challenging experience I've ever had. But I have a great partner who I love unconditionally and who makes it all possible. Each and every day during our pregnancy process she proved to me that she is the bravest person I know. She took what can often feel like daily defeat like a true champion. And she continues to prove to me that she's the bravest person I know day after day after day. She's given us and our relatives the greatest gift we'll ever know: we now have a FAMILY.
We wish others looking to start their family all the luck in the world. The emotional rollercoaster is frustrating; it's cruel. But, it's worth it.
-Christine C., New Jersey
LET'S HAVE A KID connects individuals who share a common goal: parenthood on their own terms. The idea behind the site is that there are many ways to start a family, many different kinds of families, and many ways for children to grow up happy, cherished and loved. From those dealing with infertility issues to same sex couples to singles seeking to become parents and beyond, LET'S HAVE A KID offers members one more avenue to fulfill their parenthood dreams.
For more LET'S HAVE A KID information or to advertise, please email susan@LetsHaveAKid.com, call 646-652-6799, or visit us at LetsHaveAKid.com.
LET'S HAVE A KID is a new, internet-based services company that connects individuals who share a common goal: parenthood on their own terms.