How To Tell Your Children About Divorce

HOUSTON, TX, March 15, 2014 (Press-News.org) Divorce is one of the most difficult challenges most people face - including the children involved. The good news is that most of the time, families that feel their lives torn apart by divorce come through the experience without lasting effects. Even well-adjusted children, however, may have long-lasting memories of the moment their parents told them about an upcoming divorce.

That's one reason it's important to tell your children about divorce in a way that is caring and age-appropriate and presents a unified front between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Another reason: How you talk to and support your child can make a difference in your child's ability to cope with divorce.

Planning The Talk

Experts offer the following tips for telling your children about divorce:

1 - Plan the discussion ahead of time. An article in Psychology Today recommends that you plan where, when and what you will tell your children. Your children may remember the conversation for years to come.

2 - Present a united front. Avoid the appearance of blaming one spouse, advises helpguide.org. If you can, discuss with your spouse what you plan to say beforehand. Putting some thought into what you will say and how you will say it can make the discussion go more smoothly.

3 - Tell everyone at the same time. The Psychology Today article recommends telling the entire family at once. That way, some children will not be asked to keep secrets from other children.

4. Make your talk age-appropriate. Older children may need more information than younger children. Kids will also need information about changes in their lifestyles and where they will live.

5. Tell the truth. Regardless of how much information you decide your children need, it should be truthful. You children may ask you difficult questions, and they deserve honest answers even if you do not give them detailed information.

6. Be open to questions. Make sure your children know they can ask you questions and tell you their feelings. The Psychology Today article noted that children need parents to address their pain and uncertainty. They need to have their questions answered and to feel support for their reactions - even when those reactions are painful to parents.

Help Is Available If You Need It

Although most children and adults come through divorce without lasting effects, the time during divorce can be emotionally challenging. You may notice sleep problems, withdrawals from family members, problems at school or other signs of a difficult adjustment. Your child's teachers, doctors or others involved in your child's life may also have observations or concerns to share. If your child is struggling to adjust to life during or after divorce, he or she may benefit from guidance from a child therapist or counselor.

At Kerr, Hendershot & Cannon, P.C., our law firm understands the emotional challenges that families face during divorce. We know that your children are your priority, and we will work with you to create custody and visitation agreements that are in the best interest of you and your children. Contact us at 866-398-1856 or visit www.k-hpc.com for more information.