The impact of family dynamics on eating behaviour – how going home for Christmas can change how you eat

(Press-News.org) As the holiday season approaches, many families will gather around the dinner table, sharing meals and memories. But what if the way we eat during these gatherings is shaped by more than just tradition?

Psychology research shows that our families and upbringing have a massive impact on how we eat and our relationship towards food. In fact, these influences are so profound that they can mean some people dread visiting family for the festivities.

In an in-depth study of the psychology of eating, Professor in Health Psychology Jane Ogden delves into the profound impact of family dynamics on eating behaviour, offering practical advice for fostering healthier relationships with food and each other.

In her new book, How to Eat Well at Every Age, Professor Ogden highlights how the family you grew up with can shape your attitudes toward food for life. Parents, in particular, play a pivotal role in teaching children what, when, and how to eat.

“Children of all ages learn what and how much to eat from their parents,” she explains. “Up until the age of about 12, parents are their key role models. After this age, even if it starts to feel that their friends are more important and that we are losing our grip, secretly, they still watch what their parents do.”

This influence extends beyond food choices to attitudes about body image and exercise. Parents who model healthy eating and active lifestyles can set their children up for lifelong habits.

So, families wield an impressive influence over our attitudes to food. Not only this, but eating socially has been shown to have a huge psychological impact on us too.

For the most part, food can bring people together, improve wellbeing, and create lasting memories, Professor Ogden suggests. In fact, she emphasises the benefits of eating together, suggesting food can encourage social interaction and improve mood: “Food can also help with wellbeing as it offers a source of pleasure, structure, and a useful excuse for spending time with friends and family.”

But what happens when those inherited attitudes about food are less than positive, and when a big family gathering means confronting some challenging attitudes about eating?

It becomes more complex when we understand that some inherited beliefs about food and body image are not constructive, and food can also be used to manage emotions, especially during stressful family gatherings. For example, food can help regulate emotions like boredom, anxiety, or loneliness, which can be particularly difficult for someone who has worked hard to improve their relationship with eating.

Another challenge people may face during festive food gatherings is the labelling of foods or eating habits as “good” or “bad,” a language often passed down by older generations. Professor Ogden suggests such language can lead to guilt, shame, and rebound effects, where people overeat the very foods they were trying to avoid.

Instead, she promotes a balanced approach, gently reframing foods as “frequent” versus “occasional” and focusing on moderation rather than restriction.

“Try to talk about food in a way that reinforces eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full, and does not make body size an issue,” the expert advises.

Despite possible comments or advice from relatives, Professor Ogden warns that strict food restrictions can backfire, leading to cravings, overeating, and feelings of guilt. She encourages people to focus on what to eat more of, such as fruits, vegetables, and home-cooked meals, rather than what to avoid. This positive approach can help build a sustainable, balanced relationship with food.

For those worried about overindulging during the holidays, she suggests self-compassion.

“Food can be about socialising and interaction, not just about calories and nutrition.

“Aim high to eat well, but then being kind to yourself when standards slip, and you eat ‘good enough,’” she explains, suggesting that by avoiding feelings of failure, self-compassion can encourage a healthier, more sustainable approach to eating.

For those who already have a complex relationship with food, and may be looking for ways to break that cycle with their own kids, Professor Ogden has advice.

For those less concerned about judgemental comments, but more concerned about whether delicious home cooking could derail a healthy eating plan, she has advice there too.

From being a good role model to managing the home environment, she emphasises the importance of subtle, positive approaches.

“Speak positively about healthy food,” she advises. “Say, ‘This shepherd’s pie is great,’ ‘This cauliflower is really crunchy,’ or ‘These carrots are so sweet.’”

The book also warns against using food as a reward, which can teach children to associate unhealthy foods with pleasure. Instead, parents are encouraged to reward healthy eating with praise and smiles, fostering a preference for nutritious foods.

The book advises parents to “eat healthy foods, do not snack, do not overeat, undereat and be seen to try new foods and enjoy them.”

At the other end of the spectrum, for those looking after an ageing relative who still lives independently but eats less, she advises: “We are an ageing population and this becomes a problem for many people as they see their parents get thinner and not eat properly.

“Christmas can be the time to make sure they actually eat a homecooked meal.”

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