Helping Children Through Divorce

September 15, 2012 (Press-News.org) Divorce is such a prominent part of our society. While headlines may focus on the children of divorcing celebrity couples, thousands of kids from everyday families experience the stress of divorce each year. It would be great if there were specific, established guidelines for how children react to divorce. Unfortunately, there are none.

Children's reactions to divorce are just as unique as their personalities. It all depends on their age, the power dynamics within the home, as well as how much the relationship between the spouses has played out in front of the children.

Nevertheless, children are affected in every divorce. Some may become angry, frustrated or worry about what will happen to them. Others will blame themselves and ask what they can do to get their parents back together. While these reactions may take a toll on parents, children are surprisingly resilient. In the right circumstances, kids can come out of a divorce better able to cope with stress and conflict. In fact, some studies show that children of divorce grow up to be more flexible and tolerant compared to kids with married parents.

With that said, there are a number of things that parents can do to help children through a divorce:

Be grown-ups around the kids - It is critical to keep visible conflicts, arguments and discussions about court dates and hearings away from the kids. As explained before, kids have a unique ability to blame themselves for their parents' problems. When they see grown-ups fighting (or using the legal process to denigrate a parent) it wears on a child's sense of self worth.

Keep kids' daily routines - It might sound cliche, but children are creatures of habit. Parents may be going through difficult times, but children won't usually be affected if their routines are kept intact. However, they can become unhinged when their schedules are constantly changing; especially parenting time disputes are the reason behind inconsistent routines.

Watch your mouth - You should follow the same rule that applies to your kids. Do not make disparaging statements about the other parent to the kids. This is widely frowned upon, and judges do not look fondly upon parents who use the children as sounding boards when expressing contempt for their ex.

Keep each parent involved - Most importantly, each parent should remain involved in the children's lives. Absent a temporary order, each parent retains joint legal and joint physical custody of the during the divorce proceedings. Also, courts expect parents to communicate and keep each other involved. A parent who keeps the kids away out of spite may travel a difficult road as the divorce proceeds.

If you have additional questions about how to help children through a divorce, an experienced family law attorney can advise you.

Article provided by The Roberts Law Firm PC
Visit us at www.robertslawfirmpc.com