Celebrating Mother's Day and Father's Day After Divorce

WORCESTER, MA, May 15, 2013

With Mother's Day just over and Father's Day just around the corner, divorced parents may be thinking about how to help their children celebrate both parents without inserting their own feelings into the process. Very few parents don't harbour some resentments and misgivings about the other, making it hard to participate in a day that celebrates the other parent. What follows are some tips that can help make this easier.

Be a Scout: Be Prepared

Agree on how to handle these holidays as part of your parenting plan. If possible, make arrangements in advance for the child and the other parent to spend some of this special day together. Don't wait until the last minute, by which point it may be too late.

Give a Little, Get a Little

If your ex has the children on Mother's Day, ask if you can switch for at least part of the day. And of course, offer to reciprocate on Father's Day. Hone your negotiating skills. Your children will thank you in years to come, and even your ex may thank you.

Remember, It's Not About You

Especially if you don't get along with your ex, it's important to make a deliberate effort to put those feelings behind you for the sake of your kids. Imagine how confused they would feel if you wouldn't let them celebrate the day honoring the other parent.

Help Your Kids - That's What It's All About

You may not feel like sending a Mother's Day card, but put yourself in your child's shoes. Take them to the store to buy a card or help them make one at home. If they want to buy a gift, use the occasion as a teachable moment, discussing the cost and how they might get the needed funds. And if your ex lives too far away to have your child visit, help with the phone or Skype.

Teach Your Children Well

The bottom line is that Mother's Day and Father's Day are not about flowers, cards and gifts. These holidays are about memories. Talk with your child about thing that he or she can do to make the other parent feel special. For example, you could say, "I love having breakfast in bed. Do you think Dad might like that too?"

Take Care of Yourself

What if you're not going to see your child on Mother's Day or Father's Day? Whatever the reason you won't be celebrating with them, take positive steps so you don't dwell on it. Get together with friends, go see a movie, take a walk. There will be other holidays that you will be able to spend with them.

Worcester Divorce Attorneys
Massachusetts Family Law Group
11 Pleasant Street
Worcester, MA 01608
Website: www.worcesterdivorce.com