On Your Best Behavior: How Should You Act In Family Court?

June 08, 2013

You are preparing to go to court with your attorney. What should you wear? How should you address the judge? Should you bring your children to court?

It surprises some of our clients to learn that the answers to these questions are important, as their behavior in court can affect their family law cases. "Isn't the justice system impartial?" they ask.

As long as there are humans on the bench and decisions to make that can affect lives, there will be some partiality. For example, if a judge must determine child custody/conservatorship, he or she will need to figure out what is in the best interests of the child, and that decision could be affected by a parent's behavior in court. That is why it is important to follow the rules and treat the judge with respect.

How To Dress For Court

How should you dress for court? Nicely. This doesn't mean you need to buy new clothes, but try to dress in business or business casual. Men, if you have a suit, wear it. If you don't, wear nice pants and a collared shirt. Women, wear a respectful dress or slacks and a nice shirt. Stay away from tight clothing, shorts, T-shirts, hats and too much makeup.

How To Act In Court

As family law attorneys, we have seen it all -- parties chewing gum, whispering answers, slouching in their chairs and even yelling at the judge(!). Think of court as a blind date. Would you arrive late to the date? Would you fall asleep during it? Probably not.

While you don't have to bring the judge flowers (you cannot bring the judge flowers), consider these rules:
- Speak in turn. Do not interrupt the judge or anyone else. If the other party lies, it can be tempting to point it out right away, but what you say will have more of an impact if you wait until it's your turn to speak.
- Use "Mr.," "Mrs." or "Ms." Even if the other party is your spouse, use titles to address or speak about him or her.
- Speak clearly. A court reporter is recording what you say.
- Be polite. Family court is a hotbed of emotions and it can take a lot of patience to keep your voice down and be polite to the other party and even the judge. Displaying anger, however, will only increase the tension and can hurt your case.
- Don't chew gum. A person who chews gum in a formal setting can appear rather clueless. Don't be that person.
- Don't bring food or drink into the courtroom.Besides being distracting, it is considered disrespectful to eat or drink in front of the judge.
- Turn off your cellphone. It is more important to turn off your cellphone in court than it is in a movie theater.

How To Address The Judge

In most cases, your family law attorney will speak for you, but there are occasions when a judge will ask you a question.

From day one in law school, we are taught that judges are "Your Honor." You may also refer to your judge as "Sir" or "Ma'am" when you answer a question. Every question and statement to the judge should include one of those forms of address. For example, instead of saying, "I don't know," say "Your Honor, I don't know the answer to that question."

Who To Bring With You To Court

Beside your family law attorney, there are instances where you will need to bring friends and family members to court as witnesses. It is a good idea, however, to leave your children at home. Many courts do not allow children in the courtroom because they can be distracting. Furthermore, it could be harmful to your child to witness the court proceedings.

Many people are intimidated by the idea of going to court, but the courtroom does not have to be a scary place. By acting appropriately, you can set the stage for a good and productive day in court.

Article provided by Kerr, Hendershot & Cannon, PC
Visit us at www.k-hpc.com