Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce
For the sake of the children and their own sanity, divorced parents must find ways of working together.
October 07, 2012
After a divorce, parents of young children typically must remain in contact with one another whether they want to or not. For the sake of the children -- as well as their own sanity -- it is wise for divorced parents to find ways to cooperate and work together where their kids are concerned.Strive for Open Communication
As in any relationship, communication is a key element of successful co-parenting after divorce. While you and your ex don't need to share details about your personal lives, it is essential that you establish a free flow of information about your children. For instance, if your child is sick or has problems at school, you should let the other parent know right away, and your ex should do the same for you. This helps both parents stay up to date on the child's needs and establishes consistency between the two homes.
Don't Put Kids in the Middle
Many divorced parents are tempted to have their children deliver messages from one parent to the other, but this can be very stressful for children and should be avoided. When you have something to convey to your ex, regardless of how minor, deliver the message yourself. If talking in person is too difficult, particularly at first, try communicating about your kids by email or telephone, where emotions may be less likely to get out of hand. With time and patience, you and your ex may grow more comfortable speaking face to face.
Just as you should not ask children to deliver messages for you, also resist the urge to ply them for information about your ex's personal life. This can be very distressing for children if they feel that their loyalty is being tested, or if they feel they may hurt you or their other parent by answering such questions. Similarly, avoid exposing your kids to your negative feelings about the other parent, whether by arguing with your ex or simply venting. Instead, try to work through such issues while your kids are out of earshot.
Stick to Your Agreement
Whatever the terms of your parenting plan or child custody agreement, stick to the plan and let the other parent know well in advance if you need to make adjustments or exceptions to the plan. Be on time with pickups and drop-offs, and plan ahead for things like vacations and holidays. If you have problems with the details of your custody agreement, discuss them with the other parent directly instead of expressing it in ways that may affect the children, such as withholding child support or visitation.
For more information about child custody and co-parenting after divorce, contact a knowledgeable divorce and family law attorney near you.
Article provided by Law Offices of Rodger C. Daley
Visit us at http://www.rcdaley.com