Watch for Ways Divorce May Be Impacting Children

November 06, 2012

Watch for Ways Divorce May Be Impacting Children

Parents who go through divorce understand the emotional turmoil the event can bring to a person's life. They need to start over as single people and figure out how to keep communicating with their former spouses in order to raise their children despite the fact that the marriage did not work. Adjusting to life as a single parent can be overwhelming, and in the midst of the changes parents may not consider how their children handle divorce. Parents in Oklahoma and across the U.S. should be aware of some of the ways that divorceimpacts children and how parents can help their children adjust to life after divorce.

Feeling at Fault

Children often feel responsible for their parents' divorces. Children may believe something they said or did caused their parents to want to leave the family. The children may feel guilty and anxious, fearing that their actions may drive both parents away. Parents need to reassure children that they had nothing to do with the divorce. Offering age-appropriate explanations that avoid blaming either parent may help show children that the divorce was outside their control.

Acting Differently

Children may change their behavior after their parents' divorce and not want to explain why. Some children retreat, spending more time in their rooms, reading, doing school work, fantasizing or similar activities that allow them to avoid thinking about the divorce.

Some children may begin to act out after divorce. When a parent is bombarded by all of the challenges that life after divorce can bring, the amount of attention the child receives from that parent may decrease. The only way a child may know how to make the parent pay attention is by misbehaving. Parents should watch for behavior changes and make an effort to talk to their children about how the children feel in an effort to discover the reasons behind the different behavior.

Loss and Resentment

While trying to adjust to life after divorce, some children may go through a grieving period, mourning the loss of the security and familiarity of the life they knew before the divorce. They may miss having both parents in their lives full-time. Parents need to watch for non-verbal cues that children are feeling a sense of loss and try to develop new routines and traditions to help the child adjust to their new family situations.

Some children may resent one parent for leaving or believe one parent drove the other parent to leave. Children may also feel resentment if a parent moves on, meets a new partner and has more children. They may feel abandoned or replaced. Parents need to demonstrate to children that even though they have new loves in their lives, the parents' love for their children has not diminished.

Experts note that children are remarkably resilient and if parents make an effort to talk with their children about divorce, helping children to identify and process their feelings, children usually adjust to their new family arrangements without mishap. Divorce is a big change for a family, and one that a person should not make without being informed. If you have questions about divorce, talk to an experienced divorce attorney.

Article provided by Law Offices of Keith J. Nedwick, P.C.
Visit us at http://www.nedwicklaw.com/