Parenting Time at the Holidays -- Getting It Right to Protect the Future

November 10, 2012

With the holidays fast approaching, many families are beginning to think about where the kids will spend certain special days of the year. If you're divorced, or if you're contemplating divorce, there are a few considerations you should take into account that could have implications for where your children will spend future holidays.

It Can Be a Bad Idea to Put Off Divorce Until After the Holidays

When courts have to determine child custody arrangements in a divorce, one of the things they look at is the relationship the child has to each parent. In addition, family law judges are very sensitive to the importance of continuity in a child's life, especially for young children; it is rare that a court will introduce significant changes into a child's life during divorce.

If you are considering getting divorced, it may be tempting to wait out the holidays. After all, the holidays are usually an enjoyable time for children, and you may want to try to squeeze in one last holiday season with the whole family together before the divorce. But, given how a court may eventually make custody decisions, this can be a dangerous way of thinking.

When negotiating for custody arrangements, your spouse and his or her lawyer will know that if it falls on the court to set up custody, the judge will likely consider where your child has been used to spending the holidays. If you've been holding holiday celebrations with your spouse's parents, or in the family home (which you intend to vacate after the divorce), you want to be careful about the precedent you are setting if you want to spend future holidays with your children. That's why you don't want to put off divorce, even if the holidays are approaching; a failure to act quickly could cost you a bargaining chip in negotiations and undercut your arguments in court if you are unable to reach a custody agreement with your spouse.

If you are adamant about putting off your divorce until after the holiday season, you still have options. But, if you intend to put off your divorce, it is absolutely critical to speak with an attorney before the holidays in order to develop a strategy for holiday plans. By following the strategy you and your attorney establish, you can be in a stronger position when you file for divorce after the holidays.

Stick to the Holiday Parenting Plan Once One Is In Place

A thorough parenting plan should always include specific guidance for how a child will spent each major holiday. Simply stating in the written agreement that the child's holidays will be divided based on later mutual agreement is never a good idea. Remember, holiday visitation always takes precedence over regular visitation days (for instance, if your former spouse normally has your child weekends but your agreement states that you will have your child for Christmas Day, if Christmas falls on a Saturday you should get custody of your child).

Once you have a parenting plan in place, you should not deviate from the agreed upon holiday schedule. Should the court ever need to modify your parenting plan, you don't want to make it seem as though you won't follow court approved plans. In addition, you have to be careful about setting a precedent about where your children are spending their holidays.

Talk To a Family Law Attorney

With the holidays approaching, divorce concerns may not be the most pleasant thought to entertain. But, if you want to build a better post-divorce life for you and your children, it is imperative to take care of things now that could have an effect on the future.

There are many options available for crafting a holiday schedule for your kids. Your attorney can tell you more about these options, and how they may be helpful in making a schedule that is workable for both you and your former partner. Talk to a family law attorney today to begin preparing for your divorce.

Article provided by Lawrence Law Office
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