Custody and the holidays

March 01, 2013 (Press-News.org) Custody and the holidays

Article provided by Herbert W. Laine, P.C.
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Holidays are a time of tradition and celebration, but often they can also prove to be a time of stress and headaches for divorced families. Creating a schedule for seeing children during the holiday season can be a difficult battle, but when parents work together and think about the best interest of the children, compromise can be reached.

Difficult decisions for parents and children

It is no surprise that the holidays would lead to difficult decisions for divorced parents. Everyone wants to be with his or her family during this special time of year, and missing one's children is missing a huge part of that family.

Sometimes, the court will give a divorced couple a strict schedule to follow. This may simplify the processes, but may still lead to conflict when special events take place in particular years. Parents are forced to come together in these situations and compromise, which is not always an easy task. It's especially tough when extended families live out of town and divorced couples must work out who takes the child, especially if that travel is out of the state. These can be emotionally tough and complex issues to work out.

Options for working out holiday schedules may include:
-Alternating holidays spent with the children each year
-Splitting the time around each holiday
-Working out schedules based on extended family needs

Having a set schedule that both parents agree on not only helps with the relationship between the parents but also provides a sense of security for the children.

Tips to increase children's happiness

The most important thing to remember when planning around the holidays is to keep in mind what is in the best interest of the children. Being nice to the ex-spouse and really trying to work with him or her shows the children that they are not the source of their parents' disagreements. It also sets a good example for the children as they grow toward adulthood.

Other important things to keep in mind are to plan the holidays out with plenty of time to really talk about what's going on and to write down what decisions are made. Waiting until the last minute or forgetting what the agreement is only add to the stress level of both sides.

When situations become difficult

Often, parents will be able to work together in order to find a way to make the holidays enjoyable for the children. They may put the children's interest first and set aside any differences they may have. This typically leads to a better holiday experience for all of those involved.

Sometimes, however, one parent may be particularly difficult to deal with. They may not hold up their end of a bargain or they may make the situation altogether much more stressful than it needs to be. When confronted with a particularly difficult ex-spouse, turning to the help of a trusted family law attorney can help. These attorneys will work with you to resolve the situation in a way that puts the children's interests first.