Avoid These Mistakes When Talking to Children About Divorce

July 28, 2012 (Press-News.org) Avoid These Mistakes When Talking to Children About Divorce

here is no easy way for parents to tell children about divorce. Parents may worry about how their children will react to the news and how the children will adjust to all of the changes that accompany divorce. In order to make sure that things go as smoothly as possible for the children, parents should make sure to avoid some common mistakes when discussing divorcewith their children.

Assuming Children Know They Are Not the Cause

While it is clear to the parents that the problems they have in their marriage are not their children's fault, the kids themselves may not understand this. Some children may believe that they somehow caused their parents to split up, or that if they had been better behaved somehow their parents would still be together.

Parents need to reassure their children that the divorce has nothing to do with the children and that both parents still love the children in the same way, even if the parents may not be able to get along anymore.

Bad-Mouthing the Other Parent

Hurt and anger may tempt some parents to speak poorly about the other parent in front of the child. However, when a child hears one parent insulting or complaining about the other parent, the child may feel guilty for continuing to love a person who upsets his or her parent. Children need to maintain a relationship with both parents after a divorce, and that is more difficult for a child to do if it seems like it makes one parent angry to talk about the other parent.

Treating Children Like Adults

It is important for parents to answer their children's questions about divorce, but it is possible for parents to tell children too much information. Parents should not share their worries or hurt feelings with the children, or seek comfort from their children. Parents should be supporting their children through divorce and calming their fears, not the other way around.

Pressuring Children to Take Sides

Some parents want their children to unite with them against the other parent, making themselves the "good parent" and the other the "bad parent." Doing so can confuse the children and cause them to feel guilty for still loving both parents.

Divorce can be especially difficult for children, since they often feel like they have no control and can be confused by what is going on. The way parents discuss divorce with children can lessen the impact that the experience has on them.

Article provided by The Law Office of Phillip W. Morris
Visit us at http://www.phillipmorrislaw.com