Financial Infidelity Can Sound the Marital Death Knell

March 15, 2012

It is no secret that conflict about financial matters is one of the leading reasons for divorce. The financial health of a family affects its core functioning. Money-management style determines how basic needs will be met, how lavish the lifestyle will be and how much will be put aside for future needs.

A spouse needs to be able to predict that his or her partner will follow through with the understanding they have together about earning, spending and saving. When financial behavior varies significantly from the family plan without communicating that choice, trust is broken. It is not hard to see why financial infidelity shakes the foundations of a marital relationship and can lead to divorce.

So how can a husband or wife be financially unfaithful, so to speak?
-Secretly spending and hiding purchases, even to the level of a shopping addiction
-Deceptively misstating purchase prices
-Secretly hiding or destroying paper or online evidence of financial activity
-Secretly investing or saving, often in that spouse's name alone
-Secretly earning more than admitted to and controlling what happens to the extra money
-Secretly accumulating debt or mismanaging it
-Secretly giving money to a third party, sometimes a romantic interest


Different couples have different understandings about how money is managed. The degree of financial independence of each partner can vary depending on the couple's comfort level. But the bottom line with financial infidelity is that one of the spouses either keeps quiet or lies outright about his or her deviation from the usual financial practices of the family.

The numbers are eye opening. A recent survey by the nonprofit National Endowment for Financial Education reveals fascinating information:
-About one-third of adults surveyed admit to having been lied to by their partners about financial matters.
-Three of 10 people who share finances with their partners disclose having lied about money.
-Sixteen percent of surveyed couples say that financial deception destroyed their marriages and caused divorce.
-Financial infidelity is not gender or income-level specific.


Once the deception is out in the open, a couple will have to decide whether to work actively to heal the situation. Open communication without fear of judgment is a place to start, followed by joint planning, compromise and goal setting.

If financial infidelity has harmed your marriage and you are contemplating divorce, speak with an experienced family law attorney to understand your legal options.

Article provided by Dolan & Mayerson, PC
Visit us at http://www.dolanlawoffice.com