5 tips for staying close to your kids after divorce

March 09, 2013

5 tips for staying close to your kids after divorce

Article provided by King, Koligian & Associates, LLC
Visit us at http://www.knkfamilylaw.com

One of the hardest parts of a divorce is figuring out the best way to handle child custody. Every parent loves their children dearly, and given the choice, nearly all of them would choose to have their kids stay with them full-time.

Of course, after a divorce, this is rarely possible. The dissolution of a marriage usually means shared custody with the children dividing their time between two households. In these situations, it is not rare for a parent to wind up disappointed with the outcome of a child custody case.

If you are finding yourself in this situation, know that you are not alone. However, for the sake of your children, it is important to find ways to keep your relationship strong, even if you cannot spend as much time together as you would like. Instead of focusing on the negative, consider these tips for staying close to your children after a divorce:
-Stay in town: It can be tempting to try and start over somewhere new after a marriage dissolution, but this will only make it harder to stay in touch with your kids. If you stay in the same city after you divorce -- and preferably in the same school district -- it will be easier to plan activities or make casual visits.

-Take an interest in their interests: Whatever your kids are into -- be it dance, scouts, sports, music or anything else -- take some time to learn about it so you can share in it with them. Go to every game, performance and activity that you can make it to. If you have the time, consider becoming a coach or a troop leader.

-Use a schedule: Children thrive on predictability. Work with your ex-spouse and your respective divorce attorneys to set up a workable custody schedule, and then stick to it. Your children will find it a lot easier to focus on having quality time with you if they are not worried about when they will get to see you again.

-Be a co-parent: This can be tricky, especially if you and your ex did not divorceon good terms. However, it is important that you both work together for the sake of your kids. Being flexible and supportive will help your children understand that they are still part of a loving family, even though their parents are no longer married.

-Stay in touch: Just because your kids aren't staying with you doesn't mean that you can't talk to them. Pick up the phone or use Facebook, email or text messages to remind your kids you are still thinking of them.

These are just a few of the things that can help you stay close with your kids after a divorce. Whatever the outcome of your child custody case, making an effort to be an active and involved parent will go a long way toward helping both you and your children feel stable in the midst of change.