Same-Sex Couples Can Obtain Unique Benefits from Mediated Separation Agreements

PHILADELPHIA, PA, May 24, 2013 (Press-News.org) How can you get divorced when society isn't even ready to acknowledge your relationship?

People change as time passes. Their needs, goals, and relationships with others shift. That, at the root, is why some marriages fracture and fall apart.

Society has long recognized that heterosexual relationships change over the years, and has created the institution of divorce to give a formal, public approval for this sort of breakup. But society is just beginning to admit that lesbian and gay relationships are fully legitimate and equal to opposite-sex marriages. At this point, only a few state governments allow same-sex marriage. Even if we expect that acceptance of single-gender marriage will increase rapidly over the next few years, the legal system for same-sex separations is almost nonexistent.

The greatest challenges for same-sex divorce

The single greatest challenge for gay and lesbian couples seeking to separate is this lack of social and legal rules for "same-sex divorce." Heterosexual divorces have a basic set of ground rules, default conditions, and expectations. For instance, most states presume that the joint assets of a divorcing couple will be divided equitably, and the courts will intervene to make that division if the couple fails to come to an agreement.

There is no such rule for separating LGBT couples in states that have not yet accepted same-sex marriage. There is no legal framework for unraveling a lesbian domestic partnership. The laws that govern family relationships in those states cannot be applied.

Of course, for years gay and lesbian couples have established households together--marriages in all but name--and some of those couples have found a way to disentangle their lives quietly when the relationship lost its luster. That often was an enormously complex task. Same-sex couples may be co-owners of businesses or property, may be adoptive or natural parents, and may control more assets than the typical heterosexual couple of the same age.

How did they accomplish this separation? Most often, the couple's attorneys had to engage in hours of delicate negotiation and rely on civil and contract law to arrive at a fair separation agreement that each side could accept.

The unique value of mediation for same-sex separation agreements

Negotiating between the interests of two partners who are trying to separate without an expensive courtroom fuss is the mission of family law mediators. The issues on the table are exactly the same ones that arise in opposite-sex divorce negotiations:

- Mediating division of property, assets, and debts;
- Guiding the couple to establish separate living quarters;
- Planning for child custody, visitation, and child support; and
- Helping the couple make the emotional adjustment back to single life.

But mediation for same-sex separation agreements is an especially powerful tool. Because of the legal limbo for LGBT family law at the current time, a separating same-gender couple benefits from cooperative negotiation on key issues--an area that is a mediator's greatest strength. A negotiated separation settlement can be completed in far less time (and for significantly less money) than a drawn-out court process, allowing the couple to conserve their assets wisely.

LGBT mediation services from Divorce Done Right

Divorce Done Right is a network of mediation professionals with offices in over 40 locations throughout Pennsylvania, Florida, Delaware, and New Jersey. Additionally, we are able to make referrals for trustworthy mediation service providers in many other states. Our mediators are all professionals with credentials in the fields of law, social work, or mental health care, and have appropriate certification for mediation professionals in their respective states.

We provide the full spectrum of mediation services for same-sex couples. In addition our attorneys can also be hired for individual representation on behalf of clients who are engaged in mediation but want the security of a lawyer's review before signing any agreements.

Interested? You can contact us directly through this website or by calling (866) 337-4448 for prompt and diligent attention to your needs.

Article provided by Divorce Done Right
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