Crucial Factors to Consider When Choosing a Divorce Mediator in Bucks County

NEWTOWN, PA, March 09, 2011 (Press-News.org) 1. Training - It is best to have a divorce mediator in Bucks County with a family law background who, not only has a law degree, but also has the additional family law mediation training (40 hours). This person will have the legal knowledge needed to help you resolve disputes and also the training needed to help the two of you reach agreements. In addition to having a law degree and having completed the family law mediation training, I have a Master's Degree in Counseling and successfully completed Collaborative Divorce training. Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are a great fit for my education and experience.

2. Experience - Look for a mediator who not only has training, but experience. When you need to brainstorm for solutions, the mediator's experience will be invaluable. I am often asked "what have other couples done in this situation?" because I have been a family law mediator for over ten years I am able to give couples suggestions to aid in problem solving. My experience has also shown that sometimes other professionals are needed for mediation to be a success:

--A wife who never had to pay bills or live on a budget found an accountant to be a great resource--

--A husband who was struggling emotionally with the fact that his wife wanted a divorce benefited from speaking to a divorce coach--

--Spouses who thought liquidating a 401K to pay off debt were shown other possibilities by a financial advisor.--

3. The Mediator's Process - Find out what the typical process of the mediator is, what are the average number of sessions and learn how fees are handled, who drafts the property settlement agreement, and how does the divorce get processed? Mediators must not give legal advice. They are neutrals who help the couple reach decisions. If professionals are recommended they should be suggested to the couple together and the couple should decide whether or not they think it is warranted. The mediator should never suggest any type of evaluation to one spouse to the detriment of the other. Typically, my mediations run about 5 to 6 two hour sessions. I prefer to start the sessions between 9 am and 4pm. I have found that evening sessions after work are a disaster. People are tired, hungry and cranky. The session ends up being a waste of time and money. At the conclusion of the mediation the couple receives a Memorandum of Mediated Agreements from me. All work is billed by the hour and session fees are payable at the end of the session.

I do not draft Property Settlement Agreements for my mediation couples because I have found it very hard to do within the ethical boundaries. In July 2010, the American Bar Association authorized mediators to draft final agreements if they simply wrote what the parties agreed upon. The addition of any language added to the benefit of one spouse over the other, or even boilerplate language, can bring up additional issues. It is more cost effective to refer the couple to mediation friendly attorneys for drafting and review then for me to agonize over whether each word is impacting my neutrality and getting me into hot ethical waters! One of these attorneys can file a divorce complaint and process the divorce to a decree. Mediators should not file a divorce complaint because when they do so their appearance in entered on behalf of only one spouse - nothing neutral about that. Clients become concerned when they hear they need other attorneys but it is still far less expensive to have mediation friendly attorneys involved than litigators.

4. Philosophy - find out the percentage of mediation versus litigation a mediator does, if any. If a mediator's website/profile indicates a high percentage of litigation he or she is not dedicated to helping you resolve disputes without litigation. In addition to mediation, I also represent clients in Collaborative Divorce. In this process each party is represented by a Collaborative divorce attorney and everyone signs a written agreement not to go to court. What a like about Collaborative over mediation is that the attorneys involved are dedicated to resolving conflict and the process does not end until all documents are signed and a divorce decree is issued. The mediation process concludes with the Memorandum of Mediated Agreements, which is not a legally binding agreement. I always try to refer clients to mediation friendly attorneys but sometimes other attorneys get involved and all of the hard work done in mediation gets thrown out the window. In Collaborative, we take you from beginning to end...no detours. I truly believe that divorce litigation is harmful to couples and families, and for that reason, my practice is devoted exclusively to divorce mediation and collaborative divorce.

5. Personality - selecting a mediator or a Collaborative Divorce attorney is an individualized process. You need to be comfortable with the mediators style. I often use humor to diffuse tension in sessions. My client's appreciate it but I am sure there are those who would not. I routinely brainstorm solutions with my clients to give them ideas to consider. I try to keep things moving and not let clients get bogged down. I have found that generally couples have issues they can easily agree on such as keeping the children in the same school. I start with the least contentious issues to show them agreement is possible because usually they have spent the recent past mired in disagreement. Success breeds Success!

Tracy Timby is a partner at Timby Hunt Attorneys at Law and specializes in Collaborative Divorce and Divorce Mediation in Bucks and Montgomery Counties (Pennsylvania).

Website: http://timbyhunt.com