Take time to learn to co-parent effectively with your former spouse

April 09, 2014 (Press-News.org) Take time to learn to co-parent effectively with your former spouse

Article provided by Carlson, Carlson & Dunkelman, L.L.C.
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Have you and your significant other decided it is time to end your marriage? Are you feeling somewhat overwhelmed by what this decision entails and how it will affect your children? In such situations, when a couple decides to divorce, it can be difficult to adjust to the new parenting demands.

Consequently, when divorcing, it is wise to entrust the legal aspects of the split to a skilled attorney and to focus on navigating through the transition with your ex and children.

Parents can take a number of steps to help ensure the transition is as smooth as possible for their children. Taking a moment to review some helpful guidelines can ensure both spouses are well prepared to co-parent.

Make efforts to act respectfully toward your ex

Although it can be a challenge, especially in the midst of a contentious divorce, continuing to treat your former spouse with respect -- particularly when in front of your children -- can be incredibly helpful.

While it may be challenging to do so, try to focus on the qualities you originally found desirable about your former spouse's parenting skills. In addition, try to make positive comments about your ex to your children. At the very least, refrain from badmouthing your ex in front of your kids. By remaining neutral, you will allow your children to continue having healthy relationships with both parents, rather than feeling a need to choose sides.

When moments arise when you must have an argument or heated discussion with your ex, ensure your children are not within hearing distance. In many cases, the difficult conversations regarding the terms of your divorce can be left to the attorneys on both sides.

Maintain some consistency between households

If you are sharing custodyor parental rights decision maker of your children with your former spouse, you ought to make efforts to keep some degree of stability in your children's lives, regardless of which home they are in at the moment.

For instance, parents can agree to keep certain routines, such as set times to complete homework and go to bed. In addition, try to establish some similar rules in both households. For example, parents may agree that children must complete their homework before watching television or playing games.

Of course, former spouses are bound to disagree on certain parenting decisions. In the case of a disagreement, decide which battles are worth fighting. In some cases, although you may have handled a situation in a different manner, it may not be worth starting an argument with your former spouse.

If you are considering divorce, you ought to speak with an experienced family law attorney before taking further steps. A lawyer will be able to help look after your interests.