Co-Parenting After a Divorce

September 28, 2012 (Press-News.org) Co-Parenting After a Divorce

Divorce can bring out a lot of emotions, especially when children are involved. When divorcing spouses in Indiana find themselves navigating the maze of co-parenting, things can get confusing. It may take a while before co-parenting goes smoothly, but the following few tips may help the task of co-parenting a little easier.

Keep Feelings In Check

Trying to keep your feelings at bay when talking to your ex-partner about the kids may be difficult, but it is very important even though divorcing spouses are ending their romantic relationship, they are continuing their parenting relationship and must be able to effectively parent with one another. To effectively co-parent, try to stay relaxed and child-centered when talking with the other parent about issues related to the children.

It is also extremely important to never burden the children with negative feelings about the other parent. Parents should not bad-mouth each other around the children or make the children feel guilty for wanting to spend time with the other parent.

Communication Between Parents

Parents must also navigate their new post-divorce relationship by trying to keep the communication positive. If the end of the relationship was high in conflict, exes should keep their conversations businesslike and child-focused. Problems are going to arise when co-parenting, as children's schedules and needs change. But parents should remember that they will have to see each other at the children's events. Therefore events where both parents are present will be easier to navigate with some positive and sometimes focused communication.

Make the Transitions Easier

Sometimes the hostility between divorced parents leads to the parents using the children as communication devices. Children should never have to serve as messengers between divorced parents because it can put children in an uncomfortable place. In addition, be aware of the circumstances that surround the transition between households. It is best not to pick up children from the other parent's house when it is time for them to return. Otherwise, it may feel as if the parent is taking the child away from the other parent's home. Let the other parent drop the children off.

Children also need consistency when they already have to be shifted between two different households, so parents should keep the rules consistent in both households. Discipline for breaking the rules should be consistent. Kids should follow similar schedules in both houses for mealtimes and bedtimes, as it will ease their adjustment.

In spite of the provided tips, divorce is almost always going to be difficult. An experienced family law attorney can help people struggling with divorce make a smoother transition into co-parenting, and help them come up with a positive and workable co-parenting arrangement.

Article provided by Hogan & Toole, LLP
Visit us at http://www.hogantoole.com